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Dear Diary: I Gave Myself Permission to Thrive

For so long, I carried the weight of showing up, holding everything together, and making sure everyone else was okay.

I was surviving. But I wasn’t truly living.

And here’s the truth. Surviving is not the same as thriving. One keeps you breathing. The other makes you come alive.

Today, I want to share seven real reasons why you may not be thriving yet. Not to shame you, but to help you pause, reflect, and reclaim your joy.

Living for the Weekend

If your joy only shows up on Friday night and fades by Sunday evening, sis, that’s not thriving.

You deserve to feel fulfillment on Monday mornings too. Thriving means creating a rhythm of life that excites you every day, not just during your “escape days.” Joy is not meant to be temporary. It is meant to be experienced daily.

Feeling More Dread Than Excitement

When your stomach drops more than your spirit rises, that is your body and soul signaling that something is off.

Thriving women wake up with expectancy, not dread. It doesn’t mean life is perfect. It means there is a sense of purpose quietly fueling you.

Smiling While Secretly Empty

You’ve mastered the polished smile but inside you feel drained.

High capacity women often wear masks to keep everyone else comfortable. But thriving means your inner world matches your outer expression. You deserve to feel as good as you look, sis.

Thinking Joy Is Unrealistic

If joy feels like a luxury instead of a lifestyle, you’ve settled.

Thriving doesn’t mean being happy all the time. It means creating space for joy, laughter, and lightness as a part of your everyday life. Joy isn’t optional. It is oxygen for your soul.

Running on Autopilot

You move through your days by muscle memory.

Emails, errands, meetings, routines. No wonder you feel disconnected from yourself. Thriving requires intentionality. It requires pausing to live in the moment instead of rushing through it.

Calling Chaos Your Normal

Always overwhelmed, always behind, always juggling.

That is not your identity. It is burnout pretending to be normal. Thriving means operating from alignment. It means building a life where your schedule reflects your values and peace becomes your standard.

Surviving Instead of Flourishing

Surviving says “I made it through the day.”

Flourishing says “I lived today fully.”

Thriving means your life is about more than tasks and obligations. It is about growth, fulfillment, joy, and overflow. You were created for abundance, not survival mode.

Sis, You Were Made to Thrive

You don’t have to keep tolerating life. You were made to experience it fully, freely, and joyfully.

✨ Work with me 1:1 in life coaching

✨ Find alignment, joy, and balance

✨ Start living abundantly, not just surviving

Your thriving season starts now.

🌸 Follow @divinealignedcollective and @ContesaTateLive for daily encouragement, faith-filled guidance, and strategies to protect your capacity.

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High Capacity Women, Women Who Lead, Burnout Recovery, Joyful Motherhood, Black Women Healing, Women Empowerment, Self Care for Moms, Therapist Wellness, Counselor Community, Mindful Living, Permission to Rest, Faith and Healing, Leadership and Wellness, Balanced Living for Women, Strong Friends, Women Supporting Women, Flourishing Not Surviving, Life Coaching for Women

Dear Diary… I Embraced Being Alone

There’s a certain power in choosing yourself.

Not out of bitterness, not out of fear… but out of a deep desire to reconnect with your own soul.

I didn’t embrace being alone because I was lonely.

I embraced it because I was learning to listen to me again.

The Power of Alone

Being alone isn’t loneliness, it’s liberation.

It’s choosing to honor your own company instead of waiting for others to validate your presence.

It’s a quiet strength that says:

“I am enough, even by myself.”

This kind of stillness doesn’t make you weak. It fortifies you. It builds a relationship with the woman in the mirror, the one who has always been there, even when the world grew silent.

The Power of Alone

Sometimes courage looks like showing up solo.

Going to that event. Starting that new journey. Saying yes to your dreams without needing a crowd to cheer you on.

Do it scared.

Do it alone.

But most importantly… do it.

Every step you take alone is still a step forward. And those quiet victories? They matter just as much as the loud ones.

Validate Your Own Voice

You don’t need a panel of approval to trust how you feel.

Give yourself permission to validate your own emotions, opinions, and boundaries.

Self-validation is self-respect in action. It’s looking at your truth and saying, “I trust me.”

Sis, your voice is worthy. Even when it’s the only one in the room.

Freedom in Authenticity

The more you embrace your true self, the freer you become.

You stop shrinking to fit. You start expanding to be.

Check in with yourself often. Ask:

“What do I need right now?”

Then listen. And honor the answer.

Authenticity isn’t just about being seen, it’s about being free.

Freedom in Authenticity

Freedom isn’t found in fitting in.

It’s found in being real.

Even if no one joins you.

Even if no one understands you.

Even if it’s quiet.

Choose joy, healing, and peace anyway.

This is your reminder:

Be free. Be brave. Be you.

A Sacred Reminder

You are allowed to take up space.

You are allowed to choose quiet.

You are allowed to enjoy your own company.

Being alone can be beautiful when you finally realize… you are worth the time.

💬 Comment below: What’s something you’ve learned to enjoy doing by yourself?

✨ Save this post as a reminder that solitude can be sacred.

🌸 Following @divinealignedcollective on Instagram and Facebook for life coaching and healing reflections for high-capacity women.

Also like and subscribe on YouTube for recorded sessions and meditation :

📺 The Divine & Aligned Collective

Rooted, Grounded, and Unshakable: Walking in Divine Authority and Peace

Life often tests our stability. Some days it feels like everything around us is shifting people’s moods, unexpected challenges, or even the weight of others’ instability. In moments like these, it can be easy to get pulled out of alignment and forget who we truly are.

The truth is that you were created with divine authority and unshakable power.

When you choose to stay rooted in clarity, peace, and purpose, you become immovable. You stop allowing the emotional chaos of others to dictate your mood or control your day. You stand firm in your race, secure in your calling, and steady in your spirit.

This affirmation is your reminder:

🌿 I am rooted in power.

🌿 I am grounded in clarity and stability.

🌿 I will not be moved from the race I am called to run.

When you declare these words over yourself, you reclaim authority over your mind and spirit. You give yourself permission to walk in peace even when the world feels unstable. This is the beauty of living in divine alignment. You don’t have to bend to the storm; you become the anchor in it.

👉🏾See Recorded Affirmation Here 👈🏾

A Word That Resonated With Many

When I first recorded this affirmation and shared it on my social media, I was overwhelmed by the response. Women from all walks of life sent me private messages saying how much they needed that reminder to stay rooted and to choose peace over chaos. It reminded me that so many of us are fighting silent battles where peace feels like the rarest gift.

That is why affirmations like this matter. They don’t just strengthen us personally; they create ripples of healing and empowerment in the lives of others.

The Power of Being Grounded in Divine Alignment

Choosing to be unshakable is not about being cold or unfeeling. It is about guarding your peace, strengthening your mindset, and protecting the sacred stability that allows you to thrive. This is the posture of women who know their worth, their calling, and their power.

Grounded women create space for clarity, emotional stability, and spiritual growth. They don’t chase peace; they embody it. This is what life coaching for women is all about—helping you walk in alignment with your purpose and live with confidence, strength, and fulfillment.

Your Next Step Toward Peace and Purpose

If this affirmation speaks to your heart, let it be the beginning of your next chapter. I invite you to book a 1-on-1 life coaching session with me, where we will work together to help you uncover your divine authority, align with your true purpose, and create the peace you deserve.

👉🏾 Book Your 1-on-1 Session Today

You were never meant to be shaken. You were meant to rise rooted, grounded, and unshakable.

With love and alignment,

Contesa Tate 💖

How I Found a Routine That Works for My Body and How It Has Changed My Life

One of the most important things I have learned on my health journey is that every body is different. What works for someone else might not work for you, and that is okay. I had to experiment with different eating habits, workouts, and routines before I found what truly works for my body.

For me, red meat feels really heavy and seems to stick with me longer than I like, so I limit it. My go-to proteins are chicken, shrimp, and fish.

When it comes to carbs, bread, pasta, and rice tend to linger in my body. So for most of my meals, I skip rice, fries, pasta, and bread. If I do have them, it is no more than one or two times a week and usually only for one meal that day. Instead, I substitute with zucchini, broccoli, greens, cabbage, and lettuce wraps instead of bread.

Some days I only eat one main meal and two snacks, focusing heavily on protein like shakes, protein Greek yogurt, and probiotics. I try my hardest not to eat past 7 or 8 p.m.

For drinks, I mostly stick to water because I prefer to eat my calories rather than drink them. Occasionally, I enjoy a low-calorie tea or a lemonade treat, but water is my main choice.

I attend 5 a.m. bootcamp three times a week and go to the gym at night with my family three to four times per week. I try to walk or move my body after every meal to help with digestion and I find ways to incorporate movement with my kids so we are all active together.

On average, I eat between 1,500 and 1,800 calories per day and I practice intermittent fasting, especially if I have treated myself to a more relaxed meal or a special drink. I also avoid alcohol as much as possible.

While this routine is geared toward my health and weight loss, the discipline I have built in this process has translated into every other area of my life. Just because my goal started with my health does not mean the same focus and commitment do not apply when I am building my business, improving my relationships, or achieving other personal goals. The same skills — consistency, planning, patience, and self-control — are exactly what help me grow in other areas.

When you are hyper-focused on one area, the skill sets you gain can help you improve other areas too. That is why I encourage people to take our Life Assessment, which looks at the seven life domains that make up your overall well-being.

The Seven Life Domains We Focus On

Spiritual – Understanding your beliefs, values, and ethics that guide your life. Whatever your approach, spending time asking and exploring your spiritual life can be an important part of your overall well-being.

Emotional – Maintaining a healthy emotional life is essential to your overall health. This can mean managing stress, getting quality sleep, staying on top of responsibilities, and asking for help from a therapist or life coach when needed.

Intellectual – Staying curious and engaged in learning keeps your mind sharp. This includes creative activities, reading for pleasure, being aware of social and political issues, or joining groups that focus on intellectual growth.

Physical – Moving your body, eating balanced meals, sleeping well, managing stress, keeping up with preventative medical and dental care, and maintaining healthy sexual health habits.

Social – Building strong social connections is vital. This could mean having a network of people who can support you during stressful times, as well as cultivating healthy romantic and personal relationships.

Environmental – Taking care of your surroundings and the global environment improves your quality of life. This could involve de-cluttering, recycling, cleaning your spaces, or volunteering to keep your environment healthy and organized.

Financial – Living within your means, planning for the future, and managing your money wisely. This includes budgeting, saving, and being a smart consumer.

When you see all seven areas together, you realize that a truly balanced life means giving attention to each domain. The Life Assessment will help you identify which areas need more attention so we can create a Life Plan that strengthens your weaker areas while maintaining your stronger ones.

Taking the time to understand and improve these seven domains is how you create a balanced, fulfilling, and purposeful life.

Now is the time to take the next step toward your best life.

Book a session with me today so we can complete your Life Assessment, identify the areas that need more focus, and create a personalized Life Plan for success and fulfillment.

This is your opportunity to take back ownership of your life, set realistic goals, and start making consistent progress toward the balanced, purposeful, and thriving life you deserve.

The best project I’ll ever work on .. is ME!

I am in awe of my body. Every day of this weight loss and healthy living journey, I am witnessing what I once thought was impossible. It’s not just about the pounds I’ve lost or the clothes that now fit… it’s about the strength, discipline, and resilience that I’ve discovered within myself.

Not long ago, I was approaching 300 pounds. I was weighed down physically, but also emotionally and mentally, by habits and mindsets that didn’t serve me. Walking up a flight of stairs left my knees trembling. I wore 3X clothing and avoided mirrors because I didn’t recognize the woman staring back at me. My life revolved around everyone else’s needs, and I was at the bottom of my own priority list.

I went from a 3x to XL in clothing !!!!

But today, everything is different. I am proudly wearing XL clothing. I recently hit a major milestone in the gym, leg pressing 720 pounds…. an accomplishment that still amazes me. For the woman who once struggled to walk up the stairs, this is not just a physical victory, it’s a spiritual and emotional one.

This journey has not been perfect or easy. I’ve become very aware of the parts of me that are still healing. I’ve noticed how obsessive I can be with the scale, with tracking every habit, and with how hypersensitive I’ve become around food choices. In the past, I would have judged myself for these new “quirks,” but today, I welcome them. I welcome every new insecurity, every new obsession, and every raw emotion that surfaces because they are all part of the journey toward optimum health. They remind me that I am finally paying attention to me.

Progress pics!

The proof of my growth is in more than just my reflection. My triglycerides have dropped from 135 mg to 75 mg, and my A1C is now under 5. I am no longer at risk for conditions that once scared me into silence. I feel freedom in my body, in my mind, and in my spirit. I am so proud of myself and the woman I am becoming.

And this is just the beginning. I am excited and curious to see what else I can achieve. How much stronger can I get? How much healthier can I become? How much more joy can I create in this body that once felt like a burden but now feels like a gift?

To every woman reading this, I want to encourage you to choose you. Make the decision to put yourself first, even when life pulls you in a hundred directions. The version of you that is waiting on the other side of discipline, self-love, and consistency will change your entire life.

If this speaks to you, I invite you to join me in the Divine Aligned Collective, our private women’s life coaching group where we hold each other accountable, embrace self-discovery, and create more fulfilled, powerful lives together.

Click the link below to join the community and start aligning your health, mindset, and purpose today.

Or, if you are ready for personalized guidance, click to book a one-on-one life coaching session and start planning your personal growth journey with intentionality and clarity.

This is your reminder that you are worth the work, and your next level is waiting for you to say yes.

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Instagram : @ContesaTateLive

Instagram : @DivineAlignedCollective

From a 3xl to now I’m a XL in clothing size !